August 29, 2008 Musings

So much has happened since my January 2008 Retreat with the Zeiglers.  I have had the pleasure of hosting Patrick here in Baltimore in July for a wonderful All Love class and taken 3 Matrix Energetics classes with him while he was here in the US.  He is truly an amazing loving man and I am happy to call him my friend. 

The openness of my original blog has touched many people and offended at least one.  I have often thought that I wanted to remove it and write a synopsis that does not display so much of who I am here.  So far I have held off and kept the nakedness (seemingly literally) of my experience in my original blog.  Comments are welcome!

Since January I have had one session with Patrrick that propelled me into anger at him and taught me a lot.  He contiunues to push me and to lovingly support me.  I watch him push others' hot buttons and he has successfully pushed mine more than once!  He called me "clingy".  I was furious and cornered all at the same time.  I was so angry with him since the rest of the comment was that I would still be friends with "The Big Teacher" if I had not been so clingy.  ACK!  I was so angry and so truly cornered by his comment.  I realized after the anger subsided and I looked at it with honesty that he was right and I would cling to people and stories about people, including stories about myself, like many people cling to money or objects.  My latest tack was to push away anyone I might feel clingy towards to avoid or run from the potential.  I have always known it was a loosing proposition to cling to material things but always felt it was my job to "hold on" to people.  The old aversion clinging thing that creates suffering ...yeah ... I know and I feel it more now.  I guess that is one of the biggest outcomes with my work and friendship with Patrick, the intellectual knowing shifts to an emotional embodied knowing.  He has pushed me to go beyond the safety of "book learning".  I feel another one coming soon.  I will let you know what "mean" things he says next.  :O)  Maybe I will even share what he said in Baltimore to trigger me.     All Love!