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Ken Stone


stop the war!!!

October 2013 Posts


Ken Stone's blog
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my interview with NATO Secretary-General Fogh Rasmussen

Sunday, October 6th 2013 @ 3:28 PM    post viewed 879 times



NATO Secretary-General Fogh Rasmussen

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Rasmussen: North Atlantic Treaty Organization Headquarters, Rasmussen here.

Stone: Hello, Mr. Secretary-General, my name is Ken Stone, foreign correspondent for the Hamilton Speculator in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. May I ask you some questions about -

Rasmussen: Oh, I am always so glad to talk to my Canadian allies! As your able prime minister, Mr. Harper, is wont to say, Canadians always punch well above their weight in military affairs. Just look at what your boys did over there when we hijacked the country of Afghanistan: only 2500 of you pacified the whole of Kandahar Province by yourselves for six years! Never mind those baseless allegations about the torture of prisoners... Your esteemed general, Rick Hillier, really socked it to those Taliban “terrorist scumbags”! By the way, how is Rick doing these days?

Stone: Uh, I think he's enjoying his retirement...

Rasmussen: And what about my close, Canadian, comrade-in-arms, le général Bouchard? He did a smash-up job running that regime change operation for us in Libya! Was he richly rewarded by your able prime minister for his services to the international community?

Stone: Well, Prime Minister Harper presided over a ceremony in Ottawa for the veterans of the Libyan conflict in which each of them, including the pilots who unleashed their missiles from their fighter jets and the sailors who fired their big guns from the safety of their warships way out at sea, received a medal of courage.

Rasmussen: Perfect! So, what can I do for you today, Mr. Stone?

Stone: Well, I'm calling about the international implications of the shutdown of the government of the United States of America and its possible default on its debt.

Rasmussen: Yes...?

Stone: Well, it seems to my colleagues here in Canada that the USA may now be aptly described as a failed state, you know, similar to Somalia or Libya today. After all, it can't even keep its governmental bureaucracy working and it's virtually bankrupt.

Rasmussen: So...?

Stone: So, if it qualifies as a failed state, the question inevitably arises of how to protect the human rights of its citizens.

Rasmussen: Protecting the human rights of US citizens? I don't understand.

Stone: Well, you know that some five million US families were driven from their homes since 2008?

Rasmussen: I don't see what that has to do with the US government. That was due to a financial collapse of some banks.

Stone: Exactly! The US government bailed out the banksters whose greed and fraudulent practices caused the collapse but not the poor people who lost their homes due to foreclosures.

Rasmussen: Okay, okay, I get your point, but what has this got to do with me?

Stone: Well, didn't NATO intervene in the former Yugoslavia because of allegations (later proven false) that the government of Slobodan Milosevic was driving the ethnic Albanians from their homes in Kosovo?

Rasmussen: Mr. Stone, those two events are hardly comparable!

Stone: Well, how about this, then? In the USA, there are about three million citizens who are languishing in a vast gulag of private-for-profit prisons, and among this prison population, persons of colour are vastly over-represented.

Rasmussen: So?

Stone: Mr. Rasmussen, when you were prime minister of Denmark in 2003, you committed Danish troops to the so-called “Coalition of the Willing” to help George Bush and Tony Blair overthrow the government of Saddam Hussein because you said Hussein ran a tyrannical government. You favoured a “humanitarian intervention” to protect Iraqi civilians. Doesn't running a gulag of three million US citizens qualify as a tyranny?

Rasmussen: The US can hardly be described as a tyranny, Mr. Stone. It's one of the world's great democracies.

Stone: It is? Well, how about the racial profiling of Arabs and Muslims in the US? The continuing subjugation of its native peoples? The endless discrimination against its women citizens? The growing abrogation of the trade union rights of US workers? The cleansing of US small farmers off the land? The exploitation of illegal immigrants? The clamping down on the Occupy Movement?

Rasmussen: Mr. Stone, I don't understand where your argument is leading.

Stone: It's simple, Mr. Secretary-General. According to the doctrine of the Responsibility to Protect (a.k.a. R2P), which I am proud to say was developed in Canada, when a state government can no longer ensure the human rights of its citizens or when it flagrantly abuses them, it is the duty of the international community to step in and do something. I mean, isn't that precisely what you personally did two years ago when the United Nations Security Council gave NATO the authority under Resolution 1973 to establish a no-fly zone over Libya?

Rasmussen: Yes, but Gaddafi was threatening to kill his own civilians.

Stone: Obama personally and routinely authorizes the targeted assassinations of US citizens by Predator drones on Tuesday mornings.

Rasmussen: That's different. Those Americans were terrorists.

Stone: Obama is giving arms to Al Qaeda mercenaries in Syria. And two weeks ago, you supported him by stating publicly that “the military option (must remain) on the table.”

Rasmussen: Enough! You are twisting my words -

Stone: So, if the UN Security Council decides to invoke R2P to protect US citizens who live under the tyranny of the 1% in a failed state, will NATO establish a no-fly zone over the USA, Puerto Rico, the Panama Canal Zone, and its 700 overseas military bases?

Rasmussen: I think you dialed the wrong military alliance, Mr. Stone. Do you want me to transfer your call to the Shanghai Cooperation Organization? Perhaps, you'd like to talk to President Putin or President Xi or President Rouhani about placing the Occupy Movement in the White House to fill in the power vacuum in the USA.

Stone: Not a bad idea, Anders! One last question... Do people often make fun of your middle name, Fogh?

Rasmussen: Fogh you, Mr. Stone!

(dial tone)


add a comment

Dave Smith
Group Administrator
fatherdave said on Monday, October 7th 2013 @ 12:18 PM:

Love it! :)

I think NATO should start by setting up a 'no-fly zone' to prevent any escalation of drone attacks on US citizens

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